OPINION PIECE
Not a gourmet's delight
There are still many of us in the community, still above ground, who remember what a good Aussie burger should look and taste like - not like a new burger that McDonalds has released Australia wide, which certainly doesn’t measure up to the glossy images promoting it or to be a reasonable facsimile of a satisfying meal.
This is not a true representation of what you are served when you order an Aussie Angus Deluxe.
3 February 2023
ALAN HAYES
SERIOUSLY, why anybody would continually frequent a McDonald’s burger franchise is beyond comprehension. But people do! Why? Because they’ve fallen prey to the largest American fast food con ever perpetrated in the ‘Land of Oz’. But why? Because television, in-your-face, prime time advertising works and this is what Maccas count on – people forgetting about the quality of the food when they are being brainwashed at dinnertime and there’s a family of rug rats screaming for food. It’s the fast and convenient solution, and mum wants a break from the kitchen!
Not surprisingly, Aussies have always love their burgers and, until the early seventies, they were loving cooked, while you waited, by a burger chef extraordinaire who had no illusions about what their customers expected – the classic Down Under burger with the lot. It contained a beef patty, lettuce, onion, tomato, bacon, a tomato-based sauce, a fried egg, beetroot, and (the pièce de résistance) grilled pineapple. So, why do Australians prefer to eat their burgers this way? Is this question really necessary? These are the true blue Aussies who adore Vegemite. Is there anything better on a slice of lightly browned toast?
The burger ‘With the Lot’ has now become fully entrenched in our culture and, in true Aussie tradition, can still be had at a many hamburger shops still surviving in our suburbs. Enter McDonalds, who decided it wanted to woo Australians away from the traditional hamburger shop by creating its own version of the dinki di ‘Aussie With the Lot’ burger – the Aussie Angus Deluxe.
Just like all the other burgers, Maccas (and this is not a term of endearment) got it wrong. The Aussie Angus Deluxe burger is not a gourmet's delight but without doubt one of the most disgusting burgers that I’ve had the misfortune to swallow. I blame myself, however, for not having enough respect for my body and being lured in to try it, just because my wife saw the advertisement on TV. Shame, shame on me!
Previous to this regrettable experience of ‘vomit food’ (and I did puke from eating the two mouthfuls that I had consumed about thirty minutes later), the last time that I ate McDonalds was on the way back from Melbourne twelve years ago, because there was no other fast food outlet or restaurant open. I vowed then to never eat the disgusting food ever again but here I was giving Maccas another chance.
The slippery mess that McDonald's served up - an assault on the gastronomic senses.
The burger that was given to me by McDonalds Tuggerah did not look anything like the illuminated picture displayed in their restaurant, nor like the one in the television advertising. It was nothing more than a compressed sloppy mess, swimming in an abundant sea of sauce, which oozed out everywhere and taking the contents of the burger with it. But the flies in the Tuggerah restaurant were happy (and they weren't in short supply), dive-bombing to try and land on the escaping burger innards. Maybe they were protein flies to give the burger an extra boost?
After the second mouthful of the burger, which seamed to have a life of its own (I’ve never wrestled with food before) I said to myself, “no more”. I apologised to my body and binned the burger – the best place for it – and left feeling nauseas and with a belly ache. I will not be coerced into McDonalds ever again!
The contents of my wife’s burger, too, had managed to escape from the shiny bun in which it had been served – sliding out into an unsightly morass of sauce, limp salad vegetables and what appeared to be a piece of plastic-like cheese. The Angus beef slid out in the opposite direction onto a serviette.
Surprisingly, not one McDonald’s staff member questioned why my wife was endeavouring to capture the escapees of the bun and return them to the bag in which the burgers came. Nor was any of them fazed when the food was binned - maybe its a common occurrence?
Yet, when McDonalds first opened in Australia in the early seventies, there burgers were palatable – the meat was cooked while you waited, just like in the old-fashion Aussie burger shop. Now, Maccas is just a precooked , over sauced, production line!
McDonalds need to lift its game – we’re not Americans yet and cheese isn't a 'Down Under' burger tradition! And to imply on television that the Aussie Angus Deluxe is as 'Australian as it gets' is an insult to the traditional dinki di 'Down Under' burger 'with the lot'.
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